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Jun. 20th, 2010 @ 12:37 am On giving
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
I was walking across the parking lot to the grocery store today when a woman came up to me and asked for help. I've had this happen in my dance studio parking lot, and I've given a few dollars away without concern, as the people seemed to truly need the help.

The woman today, however, just wouldn't take no for an answer. I didn't feel comfortable walking with her into the store and buying her who knows how much food she needed for herself as well as her family. I was concerned she would take advantage of the sitch. I could have given her all the money in my wallet, as that might have alleviated my guilt, but I would have been doing it for the wrong reason. She became resentful and said something unkind in a mixture of English/Spanish to me, and I said I would pray for her.

When I later exited the grocery store with my items, I saw her talking to people in a car and looking annoyed by their reactions.


1) Why would a woman wait until the evening, a much quieter time for the shopping center, to ask for money?
2) Why is it never enough to give causes which are important to me (e.g., cancer research, etc). Why do everyone else's problems need to become mine? I would have been happy to help if I hadn't felt so uncomfortable & instantly annoyed by her approach.

I'm not afraid to give. I've given food and money to the homeless and donated food to charity organizations. Something about this encounter instantly turned me off. Hrs later, I'm still uneasy about it.
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May. 30th, 2009 @ 10:29 pm Musings on home
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Jar's watching "The Office"
I started thinking about formative experiences today. Jar and I were talking about buying a new bedspread, since our current one is starting to issue fuzz, and I was struck by a memory of my parents' first bedspread. It was this somewhat nasty brown color with flowers, and it was far too thin to really do much good. (In hindsight, I'm guessing that's why they invested in electric blankets). Regardless, it got me thinking about the tactile experiences which inform our childhood. I remember crunching across the stones in our sideyard and collecting larger ones which became my favorites. Two patio chairs could become a tent if you just threw a towel across the top. As children, every place appears immense and teeming with possibility. It seems so funny to think that in the future, the house into which we are in the process of moving may prove to be the setting of someone else's formative experience--some tiny child who hasn't even been created as of yet. This feels so surreal to me. Part of it comes from the fact that the campus manager at work is due to deliver, and part of it comes from the fact that I feel a bit childlike in moving into a two story house...I think I've always wanted to live in a two story house, ever since I was small. This of course makes me immensely grateful to be transitioning from our parsimonious one bedroom into a multibedroom with roommates. How all of things shape and participate in forming our experiences...hmm...
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May. 20th, 2009 @ 10:38 pm Ahh neglect
This journal seems to have been sadly neglected. Maybe it's time to trim the weeds that have formed a jungle and start posting again...
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May. 27th, 2007 @ 04:56 pm Smack dab in the middle of Memorial Day weekend
Current Mood: calmcalm
Yesterday I drove down to Santa Cruz for my six month hair appointment and wandered around the downtown area afterward. I also spent some time watching "Planet Earth" with friends. Jar treated me to pool and dessert that evening.

Tomorrow I'm driving up to Concord to see hellhoundfiat on her visit to California. Can't wait! BBQ with friends afterward...:)
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May. 25th, 2007 @ 01:00 am Pie rats?
Current Mood: enthralled
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End can only be called   FULLY SATISFYING...a cinematic orgasm.....and all of that
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Apr. 13th, 2007 @ 10:57 am Pirates: A World's End
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
If anyone's interested, I have a link for tickets to the premiere of "Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End" at Disneyland. Tickets aren't cheap, but the 90% of the proceeds will go to the Make-A-Wish foundation. Besides, doesn't it sound swell? Sittin' on the banks of the Rivers of America, eating complimentary food, guzzling sodas and popcorn, and watching Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, et al on a screen larger than Kansas?
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Apr. 12th, 2007 @ 03:06 pm (no subject)
Current Location: The shackles of work
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Do you ever feel that life in general would be better if you could just take your computer, phone, and other technology resting on your desk and throw it through the window? The glass would shatter, the equipment would be broken, and you could step through the gap and be free. 

Out in the open world, under the sunshine, and able to walk to the nearest bookstore. That would be beyond heavenly right now.
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Apr. 11th, 2007 @ 06:08 pm To Friendship!
Current Location: My desk
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: Sadly none--left my iflop in the car, so no tunes....
I adore my friends, and it's when I am with them that I feel I can be my truest self. (Jar is of course a part of this intimate grouping, but I don't see my friends quite as often). This past Saturday a dear friend of mine and I met up at TGI Friday's for some pre-move out of the country gal time. I had this fabulous double-layer quesadilla with the guacamole and pico de gallo trimmings that I love, and she ordered this dynamite steak and mashed potatoes. Too good! Afterward we walked around Macy's lampooning current fashion (or, rather, fashion's inability to fit US) But more importantly, we didn't have any sort of teary goodbye. And why should we have? Our friendship isn't ending; there'll just be a few more thousand miles between our doorsteps. But hey, in this age of blogging, AIMing and the like, I'm sure we'll be talking it up regularly:)

Last night, I met another close friend of mine at Mission Ale. We decided that we were feeling a bit more mellow, and we decided to ditch Mission for some home-cooked goodness. So we walked over to her new apartment, a cute little two level number renovated in the 1940s, and greeted all of her adorable pets (kitties, birds, and this little rabbit called Poe that is absolutely precious!) I think that if I could have any animal under the sun, it would be one of those velvety soft toy-sized rabbits that don't grow any larger. Once we move to an apartment complex that allows pets, it may well happen. In any case, we needed to pick up some food, so we walked over to Mi Pueblo Food Center to scrounge up some makings for quesadillas. We selected tomatoes, white corn tortillas, (she already had olives and onion at home), oaxaca cheese, as well as a bit of cherry soda (hadn't had any since February, what with Lent and all), and a bit of Corona (just because....). So we spent the evening making quesadillas and venting about life in general. Good times:)

I'm thinking nothing can be better than quesadillas with friends, whether restaurant made or homemade. I love you ladies!:)

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Apr. 2nd, 2007 @ 01:35 pm Wrestlemania, baby!
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Wrestlemania 23 was beyond awesome!!!!!

I loved spending it with hellhoundfiat, thefunkmonkey, and a number of people who I wish were in my family *sigh*

Thank you again, and I love you guys!!!! Viva Concord!

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Mar. 20th, 2007 @ 11:27 am Because hearsay's always poisonous.........
Current Location: Work, and fuming
Current Mood: angryangry

Someone just made a personal attack on my character, accusing me of questioning a student on a relationship that SHE had with a student. The person who accused me felt that he/she was a good judge of character. I find it so disturbing that this person would trust the word of a student over mine, and furthermore, question my very morality. I only discuss finances, school information, or "heys" and "how are yous" with my students. How dare someone, somewhere, whether on the staff or a student, try to slander me. I was broadsided by this accusation, and it really upset me. And it didn't seem to matter what I said, any truth I told, because now I'm "suspicious" or whatever to a co-worker. I just find this so damn disturbing, because I never said anything beyond "hey" or "did you bring your paperwork?" to the student.

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